L for Love, L for Lies

i never knew she found someone so soon, within two weeks actually. it shows how much i meant to her. you can't tell someone how much you love them and then move on in two weeks, can you?

in the back of my mind i knew she was too good for me, i told myself theres someone much better than me for her, i seen it coming i just didn't know it was gonna happen before i had a chance to prove myself.

i've been blocking the thought of her out my mind, i wanna move on. i really do. but i know the chances of finding someone as perfect as her is very slim. she wasn't a girlfriend, but more like a bestfriend. i felt like we talked about everything, i was open with her... even with the most embarrassing stuff. yes my life has been bumpy right now, and i'm not stable with school nor work. and she became impatient and gave up on me, when i was willing to wait forever for her, and a part of me still is.

she messaged me today.. a part of me was excited thinking to myself "yes... maybe we can rekindle this thing", then to find out she has a boyfriend and that basically took the slightest chance of what i had left away.

i agree.. i wasn't at my best when we were talking. i wasn't too lubby dubby, i didn't wanna show how much i really love her, because i'm afraid once she knew that, i would be heartbroken and left with nothing but memories of what we had, and what we could've been. apparently that didn't work either. i'm not good at pretending. i wanna let people know i'm doing fine, i'm alright.. but how can i? its not that easy to hide, especially when people still ask me how we are doing.

i was doing okay at forgetting about her, why did she had to hit me up? to make me feel good, and then make all that go away by telling me shes taken? i don't understand that. but i'll be alright. i'll take it as a lesson on how to be a better boyfriend, and i'll be more than sure that my next girl will be my forever. i'll be more careful choosing the right girl this time around.


to me, she was the one i go cried to
to her, i'm the one she told lies to

"i'll wait for you, you know i'ma always be here"
"i love you"
"you are amazing"
"i can't wait to be with you"

i don't wanna say i feel hatred against her. i honestly don't. shes a great person, and she deserves the best. and apparently i wasn't the right fit for her. i told her in the beginning that the love i have for her is much greater than the love she has for me, i hope shes convinced now.

sorry, i had to let all my feelings out and vent. as close to i was on forgetting her, i guess it'll take a little longer now.