Farewell BS, Hello Tumblr?

APPLE CUT THE CHECK!



i been so busy and haven't had time to blog recently >_>

also quitting blogspot and POSSIBLY move onto tumblr, yea i'm hoppin on the bandwagon lol xD

L for Love, L for Lies

i never knew she found someone so soon, within two weeks actually. it shows how much i meant to her. you can't tell someone how much you love them and then move on in two weeks, can you?

in the back of my mind i knew she was too good for me, i told myself theres someone much better than me for her, i seen it coming i just didn't know it was gonna happen before i had a chance to prove myself.

i've been blocking the thought of her out my mind, i wanna move on. i really do. but i know the chances of finding someone as perfect as her is very slim. she wasn't a girlfriend, but more like a bestfriend. i felt like we talked about everything, i was open with her... even with the most embarrassing stuff. yes my life has been bumpy right now, and i'm not stable with school nor work. and she became impatient and gave up on me, when i was willing to wait forever for her, and a part of me still is.

she messaged me today.. a part of me was excited thinking to myself "yes... maybe we can rekindle this thing", then to find out she has a boyfriend and that basically took the slightest chance of what i had left away.

i agree.. i wasn't at my best when we were talking. i wasn't too lubby dubby, i didn't wanna show how much i really love her, because i'm afraid once she knew that, i would be heartbroken and left with nothing but memories of what we had, and what we could've been. apparently that didn't work either. i'm not good at pretending. i wanna let people know i'm doing fine, i'm alright.. but how can i? its not that easy to hide, especially when people still ask me how we are doing.

i was doing okay at forgetting about her, why did she had to hit me up? to make me feel good, and then make all that go away by telling me shes taken? i don't understand that. but i'll be alright. i'll take it as a lesson on how to be a better boyfriend, and i'll be more than sure that my next girl will be my forever. i'll be more careful choosing the right girl this time around.


to me, she was the one i go cried to
to her, i'm the one she told lies to

"i'll wait for you, you know i'ma always be here"
"i love you"
"you are amazing"
"i can't wait to be with you"

i don't wanna say i feel hatred against her. i honestly don't. shes a great person, and she deserves the best. and apparently i wasn't the right fit for her. i told her in the beginning that the love i have for her is much greater than the love she has for me, i hope shes convinced now.

sorry, i had to let all my feelings out and vent. as close to i was on forgetting her, i guess it'll take a little longer now.

i wanna be the first to tell her happy birthday, but what are the chances of her even wanting to talk to me.

sore as a bitch from playing bball yesterday. of course i lost.. my short ass barely got any rebounds!! lol

went to el's, grabbed some food, then went to cathy's to watch "dragon". cathy somehow always thought bruce lee was a wrestler, and is just some character LOL!

but really that bruce lee is every asians hero (atleast mine), hes god in human form! lol.. well thats a little out of line, but that man is a genius!



went to saigiddy to eat some viet food before paul dipped off. and its official, diamond push-up contest going down with me and duong, loser getting punched 10 times! i'm taking the W like the previous two times, yaaaa dig!!

Out Of The Blue // Ant Killer

so my nigga paul hit me up out of nowhere at 12 midnight saying he's here in jersey from va. so he picked me up along with duong, and we went to meet up with d and mig at duncan projects gas station. spending a long ass time there like fools trying to plan something up, and it resulted in meeting up at another meet up spot lmao! (in front of gwood).

we chilled there for several minutes, debating whether or not to go to a strip club.. when duong only had 5 dollars, nigga can't even get a lapdance with that! maybe a one butt cheek one thats fully clothed. lmao!

after spending awhile there, we ended up going to nyc to eat some babababaaangin ass pizza! got home around 5 in the morning. stopped by walgreens and copped me this

yes i took this pic just for yall, pauls on the floor knocked out (can't be seen lol)

this past few weeks i been seeing ants like fucking crazy, and my only method to killing them was by using skotch tape (gangsta i know). but after spraying the shit around the edges of my tv closet (seems to be where they usually come from) i don't be seeing em shits at all now! does it sound weird to say that i miss em? hahaha!

ants are mad interesting! i actually took the time out to research on them a bit, if they were a few sizes larger i truly believe that they'll take over this world. it sounds kinda weird i admit, to hear myself think so highly of fucking little ass insects, but peep these videos out and tell me ants aren't brilliant! lolol

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT STUPID ASS BITCH TO STOP APPEARING IN MY MIND.

nice day today! went to bayonne to classics to shop, sadly they sold out my size. BOOHOO!

so upstairs has been rented out by a filipino couple. what boggles my mind is that we charging them 1050 ONLY! wtf. our previous tenants paid a k flat and we booted them out for only 50 dollars more? wow -_-

endless rotation

bottom of my heart

reciprocate

human like

reunited

Pizza Shop Girl

i realize the best way to move on is to find someone new since she already has.

and the pizza girl, word as born shes cute! well shes average but average to me are the best girls to go for lol

i haven't spit game in sooo long that i forgot how to talk to girls. i'm a damn lame wtf!

just got back from the DMV again.

my bro: yo did you see that girl u had a crush in highschool?
me: what girl
my bro: that girl you liked
me: ohhhh.. jeanette?
my bro: yeah she was in there, i can't believe u didn't see her. she was with her fat boyfriend and moms i think

lol. i can't believe i didn't catch her inside, she was my highschool sweetheart! i was fresh as a motherfucker in that DMV, i'm certain she most likely saw me... but her man held her back from saying wassup i bet :/

Happy Mothers Day

i attended a family bbq. tons of food, tons of kids, tons of fun! lol. went to Sams Club too.. 230 dollars spent! Sams making a killing...

the highlight of the night is when my baby cousin Leyna went in her brothers room, removed her diapers, and straight took a shit by his bed! lmao

at first i thought it was a muffin on the floor but the smell was kicking!

the moms went to clean it and was like "good thing its a rock-hard turd, its easy to clean up, and how the hell did this come out of Leynas butt? shits huge!" lmao!

truthfully i'm hurt still i choose to not show it
around fakeness but i can't expose em
nor leave it unnotice.., this too strong for me to hold in
so i solo out from those i once rolled wit
i feel i'm the best yet noone can top me
why when i'm depress i wanna pop e?
its makes the pain not exist for a limited time,
than maximizes that pain by a million times
lord give me in a sign, i need a stepping stone
or some time to myself i needa be left alone
i wanna make it work i'm thinking how
its too late, its different now
i see my close friends wit a different crowd
on a slope i'm slippin down
goin back and forth doesn't work i just need ya to listen now

moms stressing me wit this school shit
looking down on myself like i won't be successful as the ones i went to school with

Eminem - Relapse

arguably the best rapper of all time! (yes i said it) i completed hearing the album, i thought it was dope. however, its probably my least favorite project of his.

the track "Beautiful" is definitely the greatest song he ever done [next to Hailey's Song] in my opinion! almost every other song gives off that same bouncy/funny vibe.

NEW SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST

Yael Naim - New Soul
Michael Jackon - Fall Again
Eminem - Beautiful

went to the DMV.



i'ma need to lose some damn fatness if i wanna continue rockin these express clothes man lol

Rain, Rain, Go Away

here's a glimpse of how the past week been looking like:

South Park

i know i'm late (like 20 years late). but motherfuck i just recently got up on Southpark and the shit is hilarious!'


CARTMAN my fav char of course!


you can watch all their episodes here: www.southparkstudios.com

something look different? lol! i downed this bottle and apparently my pops poured out whats left of the xo, and filled it up with some tequila so it can look "nice" haha

Sarah Mclachlin - In The Arms of an Angel

whoever said music is therapeutic obviously lied. listening to music don't make shit feel easy at all, if anything it hardens the pain.

anyway i found out this song "in the arms of an angel" by Sarah Mclachlin. this shit is like GUARANTEED TEARS! top 5 saddest songs EVER! word to life haha x)

Houston Rockets

as many may know, i'm a big fan of the houston rockets!

mainly for my nigga yao ming, us asians gotta support eachother man! LMAO! :)

peep this dope shirt out:



for those that seen game 1. FUCK KOBE! that bitch ass almost made yao badly injured, good shit my dude is a warrior and got back out there and put his foot up the lakers asses! ANDDDD WHATTTT!!

KR
EXP
JOR

went driving around, had to showcase some skills! LOL!

was going to head to Classic Skate Shop to cop me these; but a little late on time :(




also went to rite aid to look for the new issue of XXL magazine. motherfuckers didn't have it though >:/

A New Day

Wooooooooooo!! i think i drank all my feelings away last night lol. i'm feeling much better now :)

of course i gotta give credit to Kim lol ^_^

aside from the bullshit, my moms just got home from vietnam, our tenants upstairs just moved also. gonna take pics of the place soon, and if all goes well maybe i'll be the one living upstairs! yaaaa digggg.

...

my heart is hurt right now

its like you fucking digged inside me and ripped out my heart..

texting didn't work... calling didn't either

all i'm looking for is you telling me we're through... i'm sorry if i didn't tend to you like how i should. i fucking apologize. what the fuck happened to you saying you'd always be there?

i know i'm fucked up right now, and i know i'll be able to move on.. i just don't want to let some great go away from me... therefore i need you to confirm that it won't work out.

i know i'm not good enough for you, don't deserve you, and you could find someone better.. but i can't help but to want to be the one for you. why did it take you to leave for me to realize this?

i've drunk alot today to cope with this pain.. i'm not feeling any better thus far. i miss you... i know life goes on, but from this day forward i will put love on hold.

"i don't know what to do, so i drown in my drink
it helps to numb the pain, cause when i sit and think about it
eyes get clouded, thoughts gets crowded
so i'ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it"

...

my heart is aching right now..

can we talk about it? or is it too late and you found someone else?

I'll Never Love Again

i'm crying out for help but you ain't there
i'm missin your aura, rain pourin i'm surrounded by cold air
your presence, scent, and essence
my angel from heaven i need your blessing
i put in effort but still you managed to left me hurt
if i can go back in time i'd make it better
whipe your tears away, no fears
gave you my heart cause u said u were here to stay
but you left quick, now my breathless wanting you by me
instead you were quick to say bye to me. why?

you told me you need me

yet you left so easily

teach me how to breathe please

i can't even be me