Farewell BS, Hello Tumblr?

APPLE CUT THE CHECK!



i been so busy and haven't had time to blog recently >_>

also quitting blogspot and POSSIBLY move onto tumblr, yea i'm hoppin on the bandwagon lol xD

L for Love, L for Lies

i never knew she found someone so soon, within two weeks actually. it shows how much i meant to her. you can't tell someone how much you love them and then move on in two weeks, can you?

in the back of my mind i knew she was too good for me, i told myself theres someone much better than me for her, i seen it coming i just didn't know it was gonna happen before i had a chance to prove myself.

i've been blocking the thought of her out my mind, i wanna move on. i really do. but i know the chances of finding someone as perfect as her is very slim. she wasn't a girlfriend, but more like a bestfriend. i felt like we talked about everything, i was open with her... even with the most embarrassing stuff. yes my life has been bumpy right now, and i'm not stable with school nor work. and she became impatient and gave up on me, when i was willing to wait forever for her, and a part of me still is.

she messaged me today.. a part of me was excited thinking to myself "yes... maybe we can rekindle this thing", then to find out she has a boyfriend and that basically took the slightest chance of what i had left away.

i agree.. i wasn't at my best when we were talking. i wasn't too lubby dubby, i didn't wanna show how much i really love her, because i'm afraid once she knew that, i would be heartbroken and left with nothing but memories of what we had, and what we could've been. apparently that didn't work either. i'm not good at pretending. i wanna let people know i'm doing fine, i'm alright.. but how can i? its not that easy to hide, especially when people still ask me how we are doing.

i was doing okay at forgetting about her, why did she had to hit me up? to make me feel good, and then make all that go away by telling me shes taken? i don't understand that. but i'll be alright. i'll take it as a lesson on how to be a better boyfriend, and i'll be more than sure that my next girl will be my forever. i'll be more careful choosing the right girl this time around.


to me, she was the one i go cried to
to her, i'm the one she told lies to

"i'll wait for you, you know i'ma always be here"
"i love you"
"you are amazing"
"i can't wait to be with you"

i don't wanna say i feel hatred against her. i honestly don't. shes a great person, and she deserves the best. and apparently i wasn't the right fit for her. i told her in the beginning that the love i have for her is much greater than the love she has for me, i hope shes convinced now.

sorry, i had to let all my feelings out and vent. as close to i was on forgetting her, i guess it'll take a little longer now.

i wanna be the first to tell her happy birthday, but what are the chances of her even wanting to talk to me.

sore as a bitch from playing bball yesterday. of course i lost.. my short ass barely got any rebounds!! lol

went to el's, grabbed some food, then went to cathy's to watch "dragon". cathy somehow always thought bruce lee was a wrestler, and is just some character LOL!

but really that bruce lee is every asians hero (atleast mine), hes god in human form! lol.. well thats a little out of line, but that man is a genius!



went to saigiddy to eat some viet food before paul dipped off. and its official, diamond push-up contest going down with me and duong, loser getting punched 10 times! i'm taking the W like the previous two times, yaaaa dig!!

Out Of The Blue // Ant Killer

so my nigga paul hit me up out of nowhere at 12 midnight saying he's here in jersey from va. so he picked me up along with duong, and we went to meet up with d and mig at duncan projects gas station. spending a long ass time there like fools trying to plan something up, and it resulted in meeting up at another meet up spot lmao! (in front of gwood).

we chilled there for several minutes, debating whether or not to go to a strip club.. when duong only had 5 dollars, nigga can't even get a lapdance with that! maybe a one butt cheek one thats fully clothed. lmao!

after spending awhile there, we ended up going to nyc to eat some babababaaangin ass pizza! got home around 5 in the morning. stopped by walgreens and copped me this

yes i took this pic just for yall, pauls on the floor knocked out (can't be seen lol)

this past few weeks i been seeing ants like fucking crazy, and my only method to killing them was by using skotch tape (gangsta i know). but after spraying the shit around the edges of my tv closet (seems to be where they usually come from) i don't be seeing em shits at all now! does it sound weird to say that i miss em? hahaha!

ants are mad interesting! i actually took the time out to research on them a bit, if they were a few sizes larger i truly believe that they'll take over this world. it sounds kinda weird i admit, to hear myself think so highly of fucking little ass insects, but peep these videos out and tell me ants aren't brilliant! lolol

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT STUPID ASS BITCH TO STOP APPEARING IN MY MIND.

nice day today! went to bayonne to classics to shop, sadly they sold out my size. BOOHOO!

so upstairs has been rented out by a filipino couple. what boggles my mind is that we charging them 1050 ONLY! wtf. our previous tenants paid a k flat and we booted them out for only 50 dollars more? wow -_-

endless rotation

bottom of my heart

reciprocate

human like

reunited

Pizza Shop Girl

i realize the best way to move on is to find someone new since she already has.

and the pizza girl, word as born shes cute! well shes average but average to me are the best girls to go for lol

i haven't spit game in sooo long that i forgot how to talk to girls. i'm a damn lame wtf!

just got back from the DMV again.

my bro: yo did you see that girl u had a crush in highschool?
me: what girl
my bro: that girl you liked
me: ohhhh.. jeanette?
my bro: yeah she was in there, i can't believe u didn't see her. she was with her fat boyfriend and moms i think

lol. i can't believe i didn't catch her inside, she was my highschool sweetheart! i was fresh as a motherfucker in that DMV, i'm certain she most likely saw me... but her man held her back from saying wassup i bet :/

Happy Mothers Day

i attended a family bbq. tons of food, tons of kids, tons of fun! lol. went to Sams Club too.. 230 dollars spent! Sams making a killing...

the highlight of the night is when my baby cousin Leyna went in her brothers room, removed her diapers, and straight took a shit by his bed! lmao

at first i thought it was a muffin on the floor but the smell was kicking!

the moms went to clean it and was like "good thing its a rock-hard turd, its easy to clean up, and how the hell did this come out of Leynas butt? shits huge!" lmao!

truthfully i'm hurt still i choose to not show it
around fakeness but i can't expose em
nor leave it unnotice.., this too strong for me to hold in
so i solo out from those i once rolled wit
i feel i'm the best yet noone can top me
why when i'm depress i wanna pop e?
its makes the pain not exist for a limited time,
than maximizes that pain by a million times
lord give me in a sign, i need a stepping stone
or some time to myself i needa be left alone
i wanna make it work i'm thinking how
its too late, its different now
i see my close friends wit a different crowd
on a slope i'm slippin down
goin back and forth doesn't work i just need ya to listen now

moms stressing me wit this school shit
looking down on myself like i won't be successful as the ones i went to school with

Eminem - Relapse

arguably the best rapper of all time! (yes i said it) i completed hearing the album, i thought it was dope. however, its probably my least favorite project of his.

the track "Beautiful" is definitely the greatest song he ever done [next to Hailey's Song] in my opinion! almost every other song gives off that same bouncy/funny vibe.

NEW SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST

Yael Naim - New Soul
Michael Jackon - Fall Again
Eminem - Beautiful

went to the DMV.



i'ma need to lose some damn fatness if i wanna continue rockin these express clothes man lol

Rain, Rain, Go Away

here's a glimpse of how the past week been looking like:

South Park

i know i'm late (like 20 years late). but motherfuck i just recently got up on Southpark and the shit is hilarious!'


CARTMAN my fav char of course!


you can watch all their episodes here: www.southparkstudios.com

something look different? lol! i downed this bottle and apparently my pops poured out whats left of the xo, and filled it up with some tequila so it can look "nice" haha

Sarah Mclachlin - In The Arms of an Angel

whoever said music is therapeutic obviously lied. listening to music don't make shit feel easy at all, if anything it hardens the pain.

anyway i found out this song "in the arms of an angel" by Sarah Mclachlin. this shit is like GUARANTEED TEARS! top 5 saddest songs EVER! word to life haha x)

Houston Rockets

as many may know, i'm a big fan of the houston rockets!

mainly for my nigga yao ming, us asians gotta support eachother man! LMAO! :)

peep this dope shirt out:



for those that seen game 1. FUCK KOBE! that bitch ass almost made yao badly injured, good shit my dude is a warrior and got back out there and put his foot up the lakers asses! ANDDDD WHATTTT!!

KR
EXP
JOR

went driving around, had to showcase some skills! LOL!

was going to head to Classic Skate Shop to cop me these; but a little late on time :(




also went to rite aid to look for the new issue of XXL magazine. motherfuckers didn't have it though >:/

A New Day

Wooooooooooo!! i think i drank all my feelings away last night lol. i'm feeling much better now :)

of course i gotta give credit to Kim lol ^_^

aside from the bullshit, my moms just got home from vietnam, our tenants upstairs just moved also. gonna take pics of the place soon, and if all goes well maybe i'll be the one living upstairs! yaaaa digggg.

...

my heart is hurt right now

its like you fucking digged inside me and ripped out my heart..

texting didn't work... calling didn't either

all i'm looking for is you telling me we're through... i'm sorry if i didn't tend to you like how i should. i fucking apologize. what the fuck happened to you saying you'd always be there?

i know i'm fucked up right now, and i know i'll be able to move on.. i just don't want to let some great go away from me... therefore i need you to confirm that it won't work out.

i know i'm not good enough for you, don't deserve you, and you could find someone better.. but i can't help but to want to be the one for you. why did it take you to leave for me to realize this?

i've drunk alot today to cope with this pain.. i'm not feeling any better thus far. i miss you... i know life goes on, but from this day forward i will put love on hold.

"i don't know what to do, so i drown in my drink
it helps to numb the pain, cause when i sit and think about it
eyes get clouded, thoughts gets crowded
so i'ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it"

...

my heart is aching right now..

can we talk about it? or is it too late and you found someone else?

I'll Never Love Again

i'm crying out for help but you ain't there
i'm missin your aura, rain pourin i'm surrounded by cold air
your presence, scent, and essence
my angel from heaven i need your blessing
i put in effort but still you managed to left me hurt
if i can go back in time i'd make it better
whipe your tears away, no fears
gave you my heart cause u said u were here to stay
but you left quick, now my breathless wanting you by me
instead you were quick to say bye to me. why?

you told me you need me

yet you left so easily

teach me how to breathe please

i can't even be me

Recent Pickups

i apologize beforehand for the crappy quality photos. had to use the macbooks webcam, fucking angling was such a bitch to get a good shot of it lol

goodlooking out to my bro for coppin me this shirt. rocked it the other day

thanks to Sharon for the hook up! 58 bucks total. bangin huh?

Music Playlist

lol if i tell my boys the kind of music i'm listening now they'd prolly think i was a emo little fag. but word up peep the new songs i added, and tell me they ain't dope! lol different but nonetheless dope!

mirah - the garden
regina spektor - fidelity
coconut records - night timing
chairlift - bruises

AC ON FULL BLAST!

i've always been wanting to update this blog of mine, but i always seem to forget lol! or get lazy ;(

well lately it been feeling like its fucking summertime! what the hell happened to spring? we skipped FALL str8 to WINTER, and now we skipped SPRING right to SUMMER! the fucks going on MotherEarth? i've been sweating like an asian working in a shoe factory!

speaking of shoes, i decided to cut the addiction of buying kicks a bit *tear tear*. you begin to notice its a waste of money when you have pairs you haven't even get the chance to wear. plus i have enough to last me a lifetime so its all good!

since my mom has been gone i guess me and my pops has gotten a little closer; even though there has been a lack of food in the house :(. its actually a good thing since i've gotten back to working out YUP! .. lets just hope this motivation lasts longer than a few weeks lol

Watering Plants

damn man, i just got off the phone with my moms and she reminded me to water her plants. shes gonna be very disappointed when she comes home and find all these shits dead! LOL! i feel useless as hell for not being able to water them, i mean i do water the shit, but it still fucking dies! what the hell!

personally i think its her plants, so it needs HER nurturing. plants are like children you can't just have a stranger taking care of it all of a sudden... you know what i mean? atleast thats my excuse anyway haha

plus if its like 2, 3 plants i wouldn't mind. but we have like fucking 50 vases in the house, all kinds of fucking plants... shits a friggin hassle! no camera at the moment but i'll take pics of the (dead) plants soon, if it doesn't get thrown away first lol

Motherfucking Chimi's

earlier today we went far out our way to pick up some sandwiches from this spanish spot "chimi's restaurant". i bought 5 to go for my pops, 4 bucks per. me being the trusty person i am; i didn't bother counting.. fuckers ended up giving only 4! LOL! i guess it doesn't matter much to me cause honestly these sandwiches should be costing 7 atleast, but the fact that they straight played me cause i had a confuse face on when they spoke to me in spanish. THE FUCKS WIT THAT?! haha.

we head out to Minado's afterwards, which is a japanese buffet, i had my birthday at this spot before. the bill came out to 96? my bro treated so yeah :). i got fulled quickly, i didn't eat much but some sushi. oh my gahhhh's first time having avacodo roll, thats MY shit! and its embarrassing to say but i ended up having to poop.. ;x thats how badly my stomach was hurting, after the shitting session i felt like i was ready to eat some more! but the place was closing! LOL! we came about 50 minutes before closing time, so yeah we were a bit rushed, its all good the food was great :)

we literally stacked up mad plates and just brought it to our table cause the kitchen was close and everything. and then Cathy brought up about how we were committing sins, "GREED" she said... because we are eating much more than we can handle, and yada yada. i do agree, and i'm in need of repent, i think the spanish spot jerking me for a sandwich is Gods way of punishing me for grabbing more food than i could finish @ the buffet. >.<



PS.

i notice whenever i buy something i never check if the right amount is there. people could be jerking me for my change all the time and i would have not known. i need to start counting! lol especially with me being asian and all..

Why Do You Have To Yell?

holy motherfucker! i swear man, i know life will be hard living once my mom leaves to vietnam for a month or so; due to the fact that she does all the cleaning and cooking. but i really question on how much i'll miss her. a part of me thinks it'll be relaxing on everyone's part. all she did these past few days is bitching and yapyapyap. i wonder why she can't communicate like a regular human being.

just yesterday she asked me to set an alarm for her, and i did. for some reason the alarm suddenly went off, she asked "whys it ringing?" i told her i set it to 5:30 AM like she told me but for some reason it went off. she then blacked out saying "how the hell can you not know? its ringing and i told you to put it at 5:30, it's 9" and she proceeded to yell, throw insults, and bitched at me. i set it like how she wanted me to, how the fuck am i suppose to know why the stupid alarm rang? she could've spoken nicely and i would've went to see what happened, but she chose to yell so i went and shut off the clock period, a part of me was ready to take that shit and bashed it infront of her face. i chose to held back and not cause a scene... its just that she gets me frustrated :/

i don't wanna say that i'm happy to not hear her voice for a month, cause god forbid something might happen... and i wish she'll have a safe trip. a part of me is still worried cause i won't be by her side, i'll just have to rely on my uncle to look out for her.

my relationship with my mom has been a weird one. she definitely stresses me out. at times i rather not spark a conversation with her cause i know it'll lead to her yelling and mouthing off, and it shouldn't be that way. i just wanna know why shes quick to point out my negatives and talk shit about me to her friends.

other parents keep the negative shit about their children within the family, but my mom chooses to share my personal life to the public. not only that but she chooses to compare me to everyone and let me know how better kids they are. sorry i'm not as great as them. i don't like who i am either, i know i'm in need of change.

i don't wanna blame my parents, i love them to death but i do think their way of raising someone was done very poorly. i can only learn from them and hope not to make the same mistakes. maybe all her lashing out is just mid-life crisis, and stress that shes going through. i want this vacation to go well for her, she hasn't been on one in a long while.

New Songs To The Playlist

blu - collar worker
tupac - changes
frankie j - how to deal
jupiter rising - electropop
no doubt - don't speak

What Did You Wear Today

Happy 1st Birthday To Aivy's Son

my nigga mike just called me up and ask if i were attending to aivy's party, sadly i'm not. i feel fucked up in a sense but its funny cause i weren't invited to her baby shower.

of course thats not why i'm not going. it's mainly because noone i know of is going to be there, and i hate feeling out of place. sorry if thats not a good enough reason but its all i got haha. that and my hair is woooooooolllfffffin' right now! :(

What The Fuck Is That Noise?

okay people. so i woke up several hours ago. its now 6 AM and i'm trying to fall back asleep. but for the past fucking hour or so i've been hearing a BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! like a steady noise of loud bangs. i've been sitting here trying to find out where its coming from. i walked back and forth the house like a retard. first i thought it was upstairs.. like maybe our tenant has someone over and they are having sex and thats just the bed rocking. then my second guess was my pops doing someshit (construction at 6 AM?) downstairs. but nope it was neither! i opened my window and hear it coming from next door!

like what the fuck? is someone trying to break in their crib? would it seriously take an hour long to do that? a nigga trying to sleep! should i go play hero and ring my neighbors doorbell and see wassup?

Wishlist - New Era 59/50 Fitteds

the wishlist category will be items i (need)want, but might/might not purchase. basically just dope shit and a reminder of what to get! lol. gotta fight the 'urge' to not 'splurge' :[




the greatest letter in the alphabet. T for Tony you already knooow!


lord knows i been through a gazillion yankee fitteds, can never have enough of em!


greens my favorite color and that yellow complements it beautifully.


i honestly have over 50+ fitteds. gave nearly 20 away and giving another batch of fitteds away. my mom is leaving to vietnam and she asked for some of my hats to give to her relatives over there. i doubt they would want sweaty ass stained hats but whatever lol. it'll be funny cause i gave alot of caps that has a "jersey city" logo. vietnam kids gon be reppin my hood! lmaooooo gangstah!

iCandy - Playboy Sneaker Modelshoot

she rockin' the supras ohsosexy!


magenta bengals


timbos

Fooling Around With New Camera

testing new camera, took some random flicks around the crib. [click photo for full image]



Jordan QS Hi Premiere
















someone please tell me what my mom was thinking when she placed the big ass plant pot all the way on one side of the table and leave the center empty as hell lol
















microphone check 1,2 1,2! look at the dust on that thing.. haven't record in forever ;[



Yarrrrrrrr!! lol my piggy bank ninja pirate would pwn yo ass >:D



Brian got locked up for doing that cocaine. (who seen the ep "The Thin White Line"?)



overall i'm very satisfied with the camera. hey! i can't complain when the price was $215. thanks to cathy for picking it up, somehow she managed to get a brand spankin' new camera for below retail LOL!

i was doing some research and saw a slightly better camera with HD video for about 60 dollars more. was thinking of returning this one, but the way technology is moving i rather save the 60 and buy a new camera that would be much, much, MUCH better a year or two down the road.

Added Songs On The Playlist

waddup people! trying to spice up the page and found a way to add my music playlist. hope everyone enjoys it, it has a bit of everything haha.

new songs added:

big bang - haru
ryan tedder - the look
adele - daydreamer
ya boy f. hope - who am i to say

MY BIG UPDATE!

wow! i remember creating this site the beginning of 09 to update myself on my "new years resolution" progress. what is it? lose weight. how did it go? failure.

early march, a couple of my close friends (sharon, mike, kristine, reneil, viet, jimmy) all was down to join a gym together, something i was looking forward to. we even checked out several places and settled with one, only problem was that WE NEVER SIGNED UP! what the hell happened? i asked but had no specific detailed answers lol. summer is near by and i realize i can't count on them! time to work out by my damn self, loner status :(

i know being slim is nearly impossible for my body type. not like i have a pair of skinny jeans i'm trying to suffocate my balls into anyway haha. my main focus is to lose a good 10-15 lbs, alot of fat area needs to be gone foreally reals! i'm trying to chill on the beach topless and let the sun beam down and cause sweat to drizzle down some abs dammit! lmao jk x]

i'm not very internet-popular, and most of my friends don't even use the computer. but from this day on forth i'll try to update regularly when possible, even though its just entertainment to myself lol; so i apologize before hand since most the stuff will be about my personal interests >_<


PS
my update weren't so "big" afterall lol

From The Bottom

Hook:

in the streets if theres beef we got em
grab the piece let it squeez just pop em
this is me, you don't want problems
to the top we came from the bottom

my dudes move in silence like a game of charades

like wine, age mellow and refine, the only time where time isn't better to rewind

decayed, delayed, repaid

Love Symphony

shes the one i wanted, there's no one i wanted more
the one i'd give my all, the one that said i'm yours
what we had was fly, so why let it fall
to the floor, what kept alive you sent to the morgue
you promise to stay but strayed in a heartbeat
my heart bleeds, tell me how can my heart beat?
love is blind so for you my heart seeks
no question, you're the medicine that my heart needs
regardless i'm brokenhearted, crazy i lost it
need you but you parted, situations awkward..
i can't describe the vibe
cause when i see you it feels like i'm dying inside
can't get by til we make it work
but it reverse and somehow always makes shit worse
if i'm wrong teach me how to love rightly
i'm cold nightly, wanting your warmth to hold tightly
its you i yearn for period
if you don't return, i'll take it as a learning experience
let the past be the past, don't relive it
i want you back but i'm too afraid to admit it
i still remember so vivid
when you left, how can two people be so different?
we really one of the same
ironic how we can't be together unless one of us change

Album

TRACKLIST

1 One Man Army
2 Inside Out
3 Never Enough
4 Body Count
5 Love Me For Me
6 Come Home
7 House of Pain
8 Never Too Late
9 Boys Don't Cry
10 Clock Tickin'
11 Two Different People
12 Overkill
13 Numb
14 Four Walls
15 Could've Would've Should've
16 Couldn't Wouldn't Shouldn't