Why Do You Have To Yell?

holy motherfucker! i swear man, i know life will be hard living once my mom leaves to vietnam for a month or so; due to the fact that she does all the cleaning and cooking. but i really question on how much i'll miss her. a part of me thinks it'll be relaxing on everyone's part. all she did these past few days is bitching and yapyapyap. i wonder why she can't communicate like a regular human being.

just yesterday she asked me to set an alarm for her, and i did. for some reason the alarm suddenly went off, she asked "whys it ringing?" i told her i set it to 5:30 AM like she told me but for some reason it went off. she then blacked out saying "how the hell can you not know? its ringing and i told you to put it at 5:30, it's 9" and she proceeded to yell, throw insults, and bitched at me. i set it like how she wanted me to, how the fuck am i suppose to know why the stupid alarm rang? she could've spoken nicely and i would've went to see what happened, but she chose to yell so i went and shut off the clock period, a part of me was ready to take that shit and bashed it infront of her face. i chose to held back and not cause a scene... its just that she gets me frustrated :/

i don't wanna say that i'm happy to not hear her voice for a month, cause god forbid something might happen... and i wish she'll have a safe trip. a part of me is still worried cause i won't be by her side, i'll just have to rely on my uncle to look out for her.

my relationship with my mom has been a weird one. she definitely stresses me out. at times i rather not spark a conversation with her cause i know it'll lead to her yelling and mouthing off, and it shouldn't be that way. i just wanna know why shes quick to point out my negatives and talk shit about me to her friends.

other parents keep the negative shit about their children within the family, but my mom chooses to share my personal life to the public. not only that but she chooses to compare me to everyone and let me know how better kids they are. sorry i'm not as great as them. i don't like who i am either, i know i'm in need of change.

i don't wanna blame my parents, i love them to death but i do think their way of raising someone was done very poorly. i can only learn from them and hope not to make the same mistakes. maybe all her lashing out is just mid-life crisis, and stress that shes going through. i want this vacation to go well for her, she hasn't been on one in a long while.